I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am as a fiction writer. Who am I writing for? What am I hoping to accomplish? Should I stick to one genre to make it easier for readers to find me and know what to expect?
I met Stephanie Feger at this year’s Imaginarium conversation. Her book, Make Your Author EmPact, prompted these questions and more and, while I’m sure it wasn’t Stephanie’s desire to confound me, I confess I’ve struggled with answering some of them. No. That’s not entirely accurate. I’ve struggled to answer them in a way that easily translates for other people.
Who am I writing for? That’s tough. I mean, like every author, I want the biggest reader base I can muster. When I write fantasy, I want it to be for people that rarely like fantasy. When I wrote All That Waits in the Night, I wanted it to be a spooky read for those who wouldn’t ordinarily buy a horror book. How do you say that, simply, when describing your work?
I see my fiction through the lens of my faith, but I’m not looking to proselytize…nor am I writing it for a Christian marketplace. I’ve no desire to be boxed in by whatever “acceptable“ looks like to those gatekeepers. But faith is part of the way I see the world. It’s going to be present. It’s going to be subtext (except for The Christmas Cabin, wherein the holiday setting felt like an appropriate time to let it surface into text.) I write about things that interest me. Free will versus fate (or, as I would discuss it in my world-building, our will as characters versus Authorial design) is something I keep coming back to. The subject fascinates me.
To say I write “Christian fiction”, however, would be false. It would also give potential readers a false expectation of what they’ll find in my work. I don’t shy away from people acting like people. I don’t sanitize. I don’t demonize. I don’t pretend a life of faith is sunshine and roses, nor a life without filled with turmoil and self-destruction. I’ve never believed in inherently good people. We all exist on a spectrum. We’re all capable of great good and horrific evil.
The language in some of my work might offend people expecting “Christian fiction”. Or the lack of explicit faith-forward messaging might seem at odds with what fiction wearing the “Christian” label usually offers. And, I suppose, an atheist might find it offensive that I address the notion of faith at all, albeit through metaphor and fictional settings.
So, who do I write for? And what am I hoping to accomplish?
I’ve already said I don’t use my fiction to proselytize. Nor will I ever use it to glorify anything I don’t believe in. My work isn’t a billboard for what I stand for. But it is, perhaps, a billboard for what I want more of. I write a lot about hope. About help in times of need. About people choosing kindness over anger, and hope over nihilism. My recurring character, Dylan Drake, is my hero. He’s who I hope to be. Dylan chooses peace over violence but is still willing to fight for the powerless when the evil is great. He helps those facing difficulty. Sometimes he’s there to provide a perspective other characters can’t see. Sometimes he’s there to stand between danger and a potential victim. His kindness draws all sorts to see him as a friend. His compassion leads men and women to trust him time and again. I enjoy writing about him because I want to see more men like Dylan in the world.
Azael (the sly wizard from my fantasy works) is the man I hope never to be. He’s my worst inclinations, selfish and self-centered. He’s arrogant and unconcerned with his fellow man. Azael’s a user, a thief, and reckless abuser of his authority and power. He’s a warning to the worst in all of us…to turn from our lack of compassion and use our talents and authority for the good of those around us. But even Azael is capable of great good, which he sometimes does for all the wrong reasons. That wizard’s no devil. He’s a man. He may not like that, but his hubris can’t save him from it.
Darke is a warrior caught somewhere between the polar opposites of Dylan and Azael. Like Dylan, he believes in the importance of hope and grace. Like Azael, he often focuses on “fixing” things according to his own might. Sometimes, he carries his authority in an open hand. Other times, he wields it like a cudgel. His belief in the Author’s storytelling clashes with his urge to judge characters instead of helping them. He’s a hero, but one who struggles with “the big picture” and his place within it.
I suppose what I hope to accomplish is nothing more than getting my readers to consider where they fall along that spectrum and why. Whether you see through a lens of faith, science, social justice, philosophy, or any other framework, I think we can all see that compassion, kindness, and hope are important (and often missing) elements of society. Whether we act out of holy love, a need to feel good about ourselves, a desire to impress others, or a basic compulsion of our personality, feeding someone hungry without the means to feed themselves is still a grace. Whether we are atheists, Wiccans, Muslims, Catholics, or Scientologists, offering a bit of hope (whether eternal or situational) can keep someone on the edge of giving up striving to give it another week. A kindness, even one offered by a selfish wizard, is still a blessing to one beaten down by circumstance.
But how do you distill that down into something easily digestible? How do you make those intentions into a log line by which you can answer “What do you write?”
As a reader, I’m not drawn to a single genre. Why would I be any different as an author? No, I’ve written my silly tales as they’ve come to me. The published works include two YA fantasy/adventure books, a collection of short stories featuring Sci-Fi, horror, humor, and a faith-based tale called “Tolly.” Then came my love letter to the Twilight Zone and Night Gallery, All That Waits in the Night, which I followed up with The Christmas Cabin, a magical holiday tale of grief and forgiveness. I, then, immediately began writing a story about werewolves set in the old west. It’s just the way my mind works. And all these stories interconnect via my 3 recurring characters: Dylan Drake, his mentor Darke, and that scandalous wizard, Azael the Sly.
Stephanie Feger never intended for her book to confound me, but I’m certain she’s fine with it being a challenge. And challenged I am.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because I thought talking about my confusion might help me sort it. Or maybe I thought you’d see something in the chaos I don’t.
Who am I writing for? What do I hope to accomplish? Why can’t I pick a lane?
I don’t know. What I know is I’m grateful for every one of you. Not only for taking the time to read this blog post, but for being a valued part of my journey. Whether we’ve been friends for years, connected through social media, or met at an event like Imaginarium, you’ve become part of my story. And I love that. I think the tale of this struggling author is richer for having you in it.
Wherever this is leading, I’m glad to have you along for the ride.
J. Patrick Lemarr
