In less than two weeks, my latest novel will hit Kindle devices. [It’s available for pre-order for just 99 cents HERE…but only through the end of May 2022] A few weeks later, the paperback will drop and I will host a launch party…a first for me…to celebrate its release. And why not? I’ve spent a year of my life getting to this point. Let’s party!
But the truth is, I’ve been pursuing this full-time author gig since 2011. For more than a decade, I’ve written and released (thanks Write Crowd Publishing!) 5 books and an assortment of Ebook exclusives. Add the writing I’ve done for my Patreon patrons and the occasional (okay, infrequent!) blog post and I’ve done a lot to keep this ship afloat.
I’ve learned, though, that there is no end in sight. The struggle…the war…IS the life of a writer. It’s a life of wearing new hats, learning new skills…and hoping to God it somehow pays off in the end. And, when I say “pays off”, I don’t mean in cash. That’s a pipe dream, I fear. I mean that we hope against hope that, if we write a good story and somehow luck our way into getting it noticed in a sea of other writers also scrambling for attention…and IF that attention becomes a book sale then maybe, just MAYBE the reader will like it enough to write a brief review. And then…oh, and then…you just might sell another.
There’s no light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t an oncoming train. Just work. And more work. Failing and failing some more. And between those moments, sometimes a win. A sale. A reader. Some hope. And then you get back to it. Write more. Edit more. Hustle more.
There’s no light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t an oncoming train.
It’s a hamster wheel. It’ll never stop. The only way to “win” is to keep going. “But why?” I hear you asking. Well, my friends, because this was never about success. (That’s a lie. Success is part of it, but allow me my dignity.) It’s about passion. (That’s a lie, too. Passion isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.) The truth is…it’s about reality. See, I am a writer. By that I mean…it’s built into me as surely as my (rapidly graying) brown hair and my (likely in need of glasses) green eyes. Writing isn’t what I do. It’s who I am. Stopping would mean lying about myself in a way I can’t justify.
So, on June 10th, when All That Waits in the Night finally arrives in paperback form, I will celebrate one more turn of the hamster wheel. I’ll read wherever I’m invited. I’ll sell books wherever they’ll let me. But I’ll keep writing, too. Because it’s who I am. And I’m okay with that.
